Life or Death
by Yume Lullaby
Summary: Sana is now 17 and has many problems with her love life. She feeling as if the world is against her. Will she chose death or to live for love?..
1. Chapter 1

Hi Hi Everyone Yume here again now trying Kodomo No Omocha story but trust me i finish my Inu Yasha ones, but just remember this lovely catch phrase that everyone uses.. ^_^ I DONT OWN KODOMO NO OMOCHA  
  
Sana Isnt 11 in this story she has grown up into a 17 year old. So has everyone else!  
  
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I sit down and think how the world always spins and changes, then i realize i havent.. My friends grow happier, but i stay sad. I feel like a third wheel all the time. What did i do to deserve this, but now im use to it.. Soon i hope i dont lose my wits about this issue i must deal with.. *Sana paused for a few seconds and put her pen down* Yes Mom! What is it??  
  
" Your friends are here!"Her mom shouted.  
  
"Okay i will be right down!" Sana replied. * Sana grabbed her purse and put her diary away* Looks like im going to be the third wheel again at this lovely outing.. * Sana sighed slowly walking down the stairs and to her friends*  
  
"Hey girl, sup" Fuka said. * Sana looked at Fuka* "Nothing girl!" She replied. So, where are we going?  
  
" Cafe, Movie, and home." Akito said. " Oh, Okay." Sana replied. Well We should be on our way then hehe.. * They slowly headed out down the road to the cafe*  
  
" So, anything new happen while i was away filming the commercial?" Sana asked. " Nope." Fuka answered.  
Sana acted like she was having fun, fooling them like usualy, but what they really didnt know that she was fighting herself about a feeling.  
  
* They all took there seats at the cafe and ordered*  
  
* Sana thought to herself* Wow its been about 6 years since they gotten together... Im amazed..  
  
" Yo Sana wake up!" Fuka semi-yelled. * Sana looked up* "Eh.. Oh.. Sorry" Sana embarrasedly said. I wasnt paying attention, and i think im gonna not see the movie... You guys can go alone. * Sana smiled*  
  
" Sana are you sure!." Fuka shouted. * Sana looked up smiling* " Yes." Sana Said. Pleae go ahead without me... I... umm.. have things to do.  
  
* A few of the snobby girls walked by babbling rumors* * Sana happend to hear them all and sunk in her chair* Umm.. Miss i will have that to go please. * She waited till her drank came* Im Sorry guys i really need to go.. * She grabbed her drink and walked out*  
  
" SANA!!" Fuka yelled. Akito do something.. did we hurt her feelings. * Akito just watched her leave feeling a little down* " I think she needs to be left alone" Akito said. " I guess." Fuka replied slowly sinking in her chair worried about her friend.  
  
" I Cant believe those girls." Sana said sobbing. Why do they always pick on me. URG IT SO ANNOYING!!. My life is being ruined slowly. It hurts so much. * Sana slowly came up to a bench slowly wiping away her tears* Im 17 now and i still cry like a baby.. I cant believe how a strong person can be taken down by love...  
  
^^ yea short, but im just getting started first time writing a story like this.. Please review ^^ 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter is up ^^ my friend elation wanted to add the first chapter so I let her * sigh *  
  
But remember I don't own Kodomo No Omocha  
  
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Sana sat on the bench...just staring blankly at a tree while tears of loneliness fell down her cheeks making them hot and sticky. I'm so sick of this.. I can't take much more. No one notices how I might feel anymore. I'm just a mindless zombie, following my friends around like a puppy gnawing at somebody else's ankles...it's as if I have no life any more  
  
Sana noticed how time had ran by and the sun was slowly starting to set. She slowly sat up grabbing her purse and wiping her tears away. I cant let them see me so teary eyed. I'm stronger then this. Soon I'm just going to snap though I can feel it coming.. AHH! The suns almost down! I hope they enjoyed their movie..  
  
Sana began walking down the sidewalk. She slowly looked back seeing two guys smirk at her. Sana whispered to herself in a panic. What they want, no I'm going to be raped if I don't hurry up or something stupid like that!! Sana put a lead foot to it and started walking faster then usual. She looked back noticing the two guys following her slowly. She mumbled to herself. They're behind me! Sana went into a panic and started running as fast as she could. Her heart was pounding quickly as she grew short on air. She turned a corner and looked behind her noticing they weren't there. Few.. that was close I thought I was going to be dogs meat.  
  
" So missy you thought you could run away Heh." One of the guys said. " Nice try, but were fast." The other guy smirked.  
  
Sana Panicked. She thought to herself. What how.. Oh My GOD I'm so dead!  
  
" Come on missy give us your purse or else we will do something." The second guy said.  
  
Sana whimpered. "Please leave me alone!" Sana shouted.  
  
" Oh, don't be scared!" The First guy said. We just need a little money and we wish you cooperate with us or else!  
  
Sana starting crying as one of the guys put his arm around her. " Let go of me!" Sana Screamed. She started squirming to get away from the guys as she was knocked to the ground. SOMEONE HELP!! As one of the guys came down for her she closed her eyes then heard a big thud. She looked up and noticed a man with dirty blonde hair. She noticed it was Akito.  
  
She grabbed her purse and ran away crying.  
  
" SANA!!" Akito Shouted at the top of his lungs.  
  
Sana ignored Akito and all she could think of is was getting home. Sana ran up to her house and sat by the wall. She couldn't help but break down into tears. She tried pulling herself together, but couldn't. She wasn't ready to go into her house and be asked many questions as if it was a pop quiz. She decided to go in through the backdoor and run up to her room so no one could notice. She locked her door and fell onto her bed crying.  
  
Why.. Why was it him who had to save me! He has someone already I'm a no one to him. I was stupid when I was young to not notice his feelings, now I'm aware!  
  
" Sana are you home?!" Her mom yelled.  
  
Sana slowly calmed down to answer. " Yes I am." She replied.  
  
" Sana someone's on the phone for you!" Her mom yelled once more.  
  
" Okay I got it!" She replied. Hello.....  
  
" Why did you run away?" Akito Shouted.  
  
" I don't know..." She replied. I was surprised and scared at the time and how would you know my feelings at all now.  
  
Akito's eyes widened. " What's that supposed to mean?" He curiously asked.  
  
Sana sort of gave a smirk over the phone. " Take a nice warm guess." She said with a weird wickedness in her voice and hung up.  
  
Akito blinked and then heard the phone bleep then heard the dial tone. Akito slowly thought to himself. " What does she mean know her feelings..?" He thought to himself.  
  
She never talks to me anymore.. What's wrong with you Sana? I can't forget about you and it's been 6 years, but I can't hurt Fuka. You're scaring me deeply Sana. 


	3. Chapter 3

Hi Hi ^^ I'm back again. I love writing this story! Must finish it hehe!! I'm gonna add one more chapter after this!  
  
Hope you have enjoyed the story so far!  
  
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Sana woke up and did her average routine. Today another day full of pain and suffering once again.. Sana grabbed her toast and walked out the door. Sana looked up at the blackish gray sky. Looks like its going to snow or rain. I'm amazed the weatherman right for once. Sana frowned and thought the weather suited her mood quiet well.  
  
"Yo!"  
  
Sana turn fastly looking up to see none other than Akito. " Umm.. Hi?" Sana said. I should be heading on. She started moving away fastly.  
  
Akito grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards him. " Why are you acting so distant?!" He yelled.  
  
" I'm." Sana was trying to say, but was irrupted.  
  
" You always run away!" He yelled once again with more rage in his voice. Were sup post to be best friends and talk to each other. What is troubling you!  
  
Sana looked down at the ground choking on her tears. " It doesn't concern you.." Sana said softly. It doesn't matter anymore.  
  
" Yes it does Sana!" He said shouting. Yes.. It does.. He looked down sadly.  
  
Sana noticed his reaction. " Akito.. You shouldn't worry about me.. You have someone who you should care about and her she comes." Sana said with relief seeing Fuka. Please let go.  
  
Akito stepped back and let go and walked over to Fuka. Sana ran away from them and towards the gates of school. Sana walked in and looked to her side and saw the giggling girls.  
  
" Hey Sana!" Atsuyo said with a high pitch giggle.  
  
" Umm.. Hi?" Sana said confusedly.  
  
" Would you like to sit with us at lunch today?" Atsuyo said with another annoying giggle.  
  
Sana stared coldly. " No thanks."  
  
Atsuyo looked at her suprised that she wouldn't sit with them. " Oh okay." She said with a smirk.  
  
Sana noticed it and knew she was planning something and just walked away not giving a flying rat ass what she was going to do. Sana went back down into a frown as she walked into her classroom. She couldn't wait for her classes to end and soon lunch would come. She waited patiently ignoring the lectures in class. The bell had finally rang. Sana long wait was over and she knew that meant only about 2 hours left o school. She walked down to the cafeteria. Today was special for her because she really never ever had a packed lunch so she sat down at a table waiting for her friends to come.  
  
" I see, she is right on target." Atsuyo said. Lets go girls. Atsuyo and her gang went and got their food and walked tards Sana. She pretended to trip and dumped her whole tray on Sana.  
  
Sana eyes went blank as she noticed the food and drink dripping down her face. She was covered in crappy cafeteria food. She looked around and noticed how everyone began to laugh.  
  
" See what happens when you say no to us." Atsuyo giggled with evil laughter.  
  
Sana sat there for a minute while watching everyone stare at her and laugh and point. Sana slowly stood up and ran out of the cafeteria in tears.  
  
" Hey where is Sana?" Fuka questioned. She said meet us at this table.  
  
Akito noticed everyone giggling and whispering things about Sana. He looked down to notice the tray and spilt food. " Something happened." Lets go find Sana.  
  
Fuka and Akito put their food down and ran out of the Cafeteria and started searching for Sana.  
  
Sana ran to the bathroom crying and started cleaning herself off as well as she could." Why... Why they do this to me." Sana questioned her self curiously. She was choking on her tears. She walked out of the bathroom with her head down and walked outside with her lunch and sat under the tree. She knew it was 15 degrees out and she shouldn't be here, but the pain of freezing made her feel much better.  
  
Akito noticed a girl sitting outside. " Sana..." He whispered to himself. He ran outside running tards the tree. Sana!! What happened you look like your clothes were stained with food?.!  
  
" Oh, yeah.." Sana remembered. The girls played a mean trick on me.. I prefer eating out here anyways.  
  
" Your wet Sana at least comes in!" Akito ordered. You will catch a cold or something.  
  
" That sounds great to me.." Sana said happily. Look I have to go on a talk show I'm leaving now. Sana got up and walked tards the gate.  
  
" Sana, I hate how you act so distant!" Akito Shouted. Were sup post to be friends!!  
  
Sana stopped in her tracks. Snow began to come down lightly. " Akito I'm sorry I have let you down as friend.." Sana said with a sigh. I'm failing at everything now.. I will see you later. Sana walked through the opened gate and was on her way to the talk show.  
  
" Sana what are you pulling.." Akito thought to himself.  
  
Soon after Sana left a small blizzard began. Sana enjoyed how the frost nipped at her. She enjoyed the pain. She finally got to the studio.  
  
" Hey Sana!" Nao said. Sana looked up. " Hi." She said while walking pass him. She walked into her dressing room. She noticed the snow washed out most of the food. She changed into a nice white blouse and a dress that went over it. She brushed out the curves in her hair and walk tards the part of the studio she was needed at. She finally got to the set.  
  
" Today's surprise guest is Sana!' The Talk show guy said.  
  
Sana slowly walked out waving to everyone with one of her smiles. She took her chair. The talk show went on and on.  
  
" So, Sana I heard that you have always been the fixer of issues." The Talk show guy said. Your so nice!  
  
" Yes its true I have." She said as cheerfully as she could.  
  
" Whats one thing you would like?" He asked.  
  
" Well nothing much, excepts a new life!" She said strongly.  
  
" Eh, Whats that sup post to mean.!" He asked.  
  
" Figure it out on your own, I must be going now." Sana replied. She walked of the stage. She went to her dressing room and grabbed a jacket and headed on home.  
  
Ugg.. My life sucks right now.! What else could happen?. I should just end it all! Sana slowly walked down the sidewalk not paying attention and bumped into a couple.  
  
" Oh! My Gosh I'm so sorry!" She shouted with concern. She put a hand out to help them up.  
  
" You Stupid ass moron!" The guy shouted. Watch where you're going!  
  
" Yeah!" The girl screamed.  
  
Sana looked down at the ground. " I'm sorry." Sana slowly said.  
  
" Wait a minute.." The girl said. It's Sana! Ahaha the loser at school that I dumped my tray on!. Atsuyo slapped her for no reason. Maybe you should think twice now not to say no to me and to watch where you are going.!  
  
Sana held her cheek and just walked pass them. " I'm sorry I already said that." Sana said once more. At least I'm not a slut who hangs around with every guy though and tries to make every person feel like crap! Sana walked away.  
  
" You stupid girl!" The guy said. You never talk about Atsuyo again like that! He grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.  
  
" You think taking this anger out on me will help you feel better?!" Sana said coldly.  
  
The guy threw her on the ground and walked away with Atsuyo.  
  
Sana got up slowly dusting herself off. What an asshole. Sana continues walking holding onto her cheek. I'm losing it even more.. Soon I wont even know what to live for. I'm losing myself. Sana slowly began to cry. She tried holding back, but a few tears escaped rolling down her cheeks. While walking by she saw two people she noticed.. Fuka and Akito. She put her hood on so they wouldn't see her and slowly walked by watching them.  
  
" Did you see Sana on the talk show..?" Fuka asked.  
  
" Yeah." Akito answered.  
  
" Aren't you going to go after her?" Fuka questioned.  
  
" Fuka I would like to but I can't.." Akito answered once more. She has been so distant with me. She wont tells me what is troubling her.  
  
" Do you still like her..?" She popped one more question out.  
  
Akito felt like he was having a pop quiz. " Fuka I can't answer that.." He replied. I can't hurt you.  
  
Fuka looked down sadly.  
  
Akito embraced her in his arms and slowly kissed her. " Fuka I can't hurt you and you know that." He said softly.  
  
Sana eyes went blank. She saw everything. Her heart shattered into thousands of pieces. She felt as if the pieces that were just broken were being broken all over again turning into millions of pieces. She walked away slowly and then started running. She felt as if she was running away from her greatest fear. Sana ran up to her house. She walked to her mom's office grabbing a pen and few pieces of paper. She head tards the kitchen grabbing out a large knife. "I can't take this any longer!!! " She screamed.  
  
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Well thats the third chapter! I hoped you liked it.. I noticed my friend accidentally used my name to leave a review @_@ blah on her! 


	4. Chapter 4

Hi Hi I'm back again!.. I love writing this story so much!! I hope you all love it so far... but now its gonna get dramatic ;_; please enjoy!  
  
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Akito had just finished walking Fuka home. He wanted to see Sana. He felt as if something bad was going to happen. He couldn't get her off his mine. He felt like he was in 6th grade again. He only wanted to be near Sana. He couldn't help, but worry for the girl.  
  
Sana was writing a note to everyone in the house. She knew her mom had a little bit of wine and that she wanted to go to bed early, so she knew her mom was asleep now. She also knew Rei had a date and her cook was out having dinner with an old friend. Sana stared at her note making sure it was perfect.  
  
Dear Family,  
  
I can't take this anymore. I can't live anymore.  
  
Everything is ending for me. I only see the dark  
  
and no light. My life has been ruined. I only feel pain.  
  
I'm sorry I couldn't live the fullest. I want to be reborn  
  
as a new person.  
  
Mom I know you will be able to finish your book.  
  
Rei I hope you live a happy life with Asako.  
  
Mrs. Shimura I hope you live healthy and long.  
  
Please move on without me. I'm not needed anymore.  
  
The world will be much better without me.  
  
Love Sana  
  
P.S. Please tell everyone I loved them all dearly.  
  
Sana put the note next to the telephone. Well its time to leave now. Sana walked outside tards the ally. Sana sat down next to a wall holding the big kitchen knife. Heh, I'm so happy to leave this hellhole. Good-bye world. Good-bye Sana Kurata! She screamed and then cut both her wrists. She watched as the blood dripped down. She felt glad to feel the pain. She noticed how she started to grow tired. She fell to the ground unconscious.  
  
Akito was passing by when he noticed the thick smell of blood traveling in the air. He tried to smell were it was coming from and followed it. He turned a corner and saw Sana lying there bleeding. He ran as fast as he could tards Sana. He lifted her in his arms. " Sana!" Akito cried out. He then looked at her wrist and knew what she did. He picked her up and started running tards the hospital. Sana hang on were almost there! He ran in through the doors and gave her to one of the doctors. Hurry! She is dying!  
  
The doctor looked down and fastly put her in a room. He hooked up a blood machine and some oxygen.  
  
" Will she be okay?" Akito questioned sadly. Will she live. Will she be able to come home!  
  
The doctor paused and put his hand up. " Sir, please calm down." The doctor said. We might save her. She has lost alot of blood. I'm not sure if she will make it though.  
  
Akito eyes went blank. " May I go and see her." He said with tears flowing down his face.  
  
" You may go and see her." The doctor said sadly.  
  
Akito walked in and pulled up a chair next to her bed. " Sana what made you do this.." Akito spoked softly. Please don't leave me I need you more then my own life!  
  
Sana woke up hearing every word Akito said. " Akito.. I'm sorry.." She said slowly. I was dumb.. I wasn't thinking.. Please don't worry for me.. Someone needs you more then me. She laid there with tears flowing down her face.  
  
Akito carefully embraced Sana in his arms. " Sana I can't let you go!" He yelled. I wont be complete.  
  
" Akito.." Sana worriedly said. I have loved you for 6 years. I was stupid when I was young. I never knew your feelings, but as I watched you with my friend Fuka.. I knew you were happy. That made me happy to see you happy, but it was eating away at my heart. That I wasn't with you.. Please don't leave the world. Fuka needs you.  
  
" Sana, even thought I' am with Fuka.." Akito paused in the middle. I STILL NEED YOU!  
  
Sana smiled.. "If only I knew sooner.." She said softly. Akito I'm sorry.. It's my time to leave this world. The angels are telling me to come. They're watching me right now and they promise to take care of me. Please Akito don't worry. I promise to always be near you in spirit. I was dumb to think this was the best way escape. I should have lived my fullest.. Please don't worry. Don't leave Fuka. Her love for you is so strong.  
  
Sana started turning pale and her body growing lighter. Akito.. I will always love you.  
  
Akito could hear the slow beeping in the back round. " Sana I love you don't leave me!" He Yelled. He noticed how her body lighten. He looked at her face and saw her eyes closed. In the back round he heard a long beep. Tears came to his eyes. His tears started to flow quickly. He held her tighter. Sana.. Why...!! He was choking on tears. He knew she was dead, but he knew he had to kiss her for her last time. He slowly brought her in for her final last kiss from him. He set her down on her pillow. He noticed how peaceful she looked. He walked out and told the doctor.  
  
Weeks had passed by since the loss of the young actress. Everyone depressed and sad for how they didn't notice the girl's feelings.  
  
Akito one night was walking alone stuck in his own world. He could only replay the seen of her dying in his mind. He felt as if his whole world had crashed down. He sat down on one of the benches in the park. He noticed it was the same one she pretended to be his mother at. He went to lay his head down and noticed he was lying on someone's lap.  
  
" Dearest Akito.." A young lady spoke softly. I love you.. Thats why I gave birth to you.. Live for me. You must live..  
  
Akito's eyes opened up and went wide. He noticed that he was lying on someone's lap, but those words ran threw his head. He looked up noticed a heavenly looking creature staring down on him with a bright smile. For he knew this smile wasn't fake. He noticed the flowing white gown and the large white wings. He noticed how she had a halo that gave her the glow. " Sa.." He paused. Sana!  
  
" Akito, you must live for me." She spoke angelically. Live for Fuka, your family, friends, and me. She slowly embraced him. Akito please don't leave them. I promised you I would always watch over you.  
  
For the first time he knew he was being watched over by an angel. His own guardian angel. The one he loved so much. That night he knew he was never alone in the world.  
  
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;_; Thank you for being with me for the whole story!. I was almost down in tears from writing the ending chapter @_@; I hope you all loved the story as much as I did ^^; Thank you all for being here while I wrote the story.! Please review and tell me what you thought about the story and finally chapter ^^ 


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